i have a job.
I got a sweet internship at a sweet nonprofit! I will learn things and do things and work with great people! I can freaking STOP applying to other jobs! HOORRRAYYYYY!
Waitasec, Joanna, you may be thinking. You don't have a job already? No, I did not already have a job.
Oh, sweetie honey baby child. Looks like I have to tell you the whole story.
First: you should know that in a lot of ways, graduating college feels like this:
So in the wake of my new life last summer, I resigned to apply to a bamillion jobs while I worked for my grandma and taught swim lessons.
But it wasn't that easy. It ate up my life and seemed that nothing really went anywhere. So I had a quarter life crisis.
My phone was constantly on. After all, an employer could be calling!
I edited my resume like, every day. And had about 40 different cover letters.
But I kept on hitting dead ends. Not to mention that I didn't even know what I wanted to do with my life (I told you, quarter life crisis!). I had no idea where I wanted to be in 5 years. And that question stressed me out.
This whole job nonsense drove me slowly insane.
So, add it up: failure to ace interviews + failure to get jobs + failure to have a great and well-thought-out plan for my life's direction = extreme shame. I became really private, because I was embarrassed to talk about my failure. Because, naturally, the only reason I didn't get offered each job I applied to was 100% because of some shortcoming or inadequacy on my part. (SARCASM)
Then I had an epiphany. The jobs that I was applying to were jobs that I didn't even want. I was looking for the wrong positions for my experience, so I wasn't really getting anywhere with those! DUH JOANNA.
So I started over, taking inventory of my own experience and what I'd like to professionally grow in. Then I looked for paid internships where I could grow those skills. I started getting more calls back and more in-person second interviews.
I was finally on the right track! Could these interviews be the last ones? Could I finally move on to the next chapter in my life?
I had a couple of false alarms in a row where someone else with more experience was chosen instead of me (which is okay, I understand that). It was still dishearteningly familiar. Throughout those letdowns I learned that I care wayyyy too much about success, and that I need to daily let it go.
And then. AND THEN. Yesterday I returned from a visit with a friend and oh-so-casually opened my email (which I usually am super paranoid about checking and refreshing every second of every day) and found a simple little "You're hired" email. I doubt anyone has been this excited to get an email since the invention of email itself.
So that's the whole story. I'm so, so, so relieved and excited and hopeful and ready to do a different kind of good, hard work. I love hard work. I'm so ready for this. SO FREAKIN EXCITED.