many things, friends. many things.
1. I have to marry a chiropractor. This makes so much sense.
2. I am not a big deal.
3. My friends still care about me. (Exhibit A, pile of letters I haven't returned, Exhibit B, all the phone calls I haven't returned. I am definitely the problem.)
4. you can get sunburned in the shade? which is a white girl problem to the MAX
5. you can feel prayers. you really can.
6. i was definitely born to be a camp counselor.
7. i should definitely not be a camp counselor again.
8. God is a provider!!! I've needed him more this summer than I think I did my whole entire college career. He supplies us with what we need! Patience, hope, perspective, i don't know, ANYTHING! If we need it, he's going to give it to us!! this is crazy!
9. God cares about our bodies as much as he cares about our souls. Anne sent me a sermon on a CD from IHOP and it made me think about the summer differently. Prayers for physical healing or strength always used to have an apologetic air whenever they came out of my mouth. "Sorry God, I know you're busy caring about hearts, and I know you're sovereign over this situation, but if you feel like it could you help over here?" Now I'm like, "Big Jesus, do your thing!... help me up this hill! Heal my baby cousin from leukemia! You have the power to do it!" It's awesome and I wish it was discussed in the church more.
10. I am afraid of the idea of traveling Europe after camp but I also really, really want to do it and 98% probably will.
11. I have no idea what will happen after that and I am also afraid of that as well.
12. It will all be ok.
13. I love Phineas and Ferb way too much. Like, I fist pump during the show whenever Perry saves the day. FIST PUMP. I was cheering Perry on with a bunch of cute 7-year-old boys the other day. I felt super cool. Now confessing this to you I just feel...nope, still feel super cool.
14. I can't be friends with everyone....BUT REALLY. Old youth group friends and friends estranged from freshman year and old friends from NYC and i can't know you all or be friends with you all. Wah. This is the saddest. It means I'm growing up. I know too many people and I don't have the personal energy to keep up one thousand friendly acquaintanceships. It's impossible. So BYE random people I'm going to stop talking to! I'd rather gracefully bow out of the shadowy edges of your life than maintain an idealistic possibility that we'll get coffee someday because I CAN'T I'm only a hooman being and life is short and it's depressing and I'm sorry but buh BYE.
15. Social media is overwhelming in this way. I feel too connected.
16. Maybe this means I'm not an extrovert.
17. Maybe there's no such thing as extroverts or introverts.
18. Maybe I should just go eat chocolate and watch a movie.